Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My feet surprised me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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