First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
worst night to have a conscience
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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