Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
