I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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