he told me I talked like a deaf person
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
