Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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