People in love make me want to vomit
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
