i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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