going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
