You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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