A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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