thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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