Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
