found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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