One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
