is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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