haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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