yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My dick has a subreddit
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
