He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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