yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
