beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
