P.S. I can't hear my feet
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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