Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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