So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
