You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
