Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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