Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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