You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize