My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
