I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
