just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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