It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
