so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
