So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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