Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
