I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
