Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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