I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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