Farmville is her only friend.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
3pm strippers are depressing
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize