i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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