my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
