I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
