You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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