in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You smell like stripper and shame
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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