If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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