ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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