She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
