I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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