her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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