girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
