Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
