This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Drake has all the answers
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
