I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
