If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
