Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
