She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
