i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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