Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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