She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
