i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
