what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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