so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
