I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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