DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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